Jean Grey Professional Dream Weaver
by batman100
Summary: Jean unexpectedly inherits the power to visit the X-Men's dreams. And with their dreams way out of the ordinary, you know this cant be good.


**Jean Grey: Professional Dream Weaver by Batman100**

**The disclaimer saying I don't own X-Men Evolution is invading my dream bubble. Hopefully it should vanish within a few minutes. Or not. Enjoy!**

It was a beautifully moonlit Saturday night at the X-Mansion as the X-gang slumbered peacefully. Of course, not **everyone** was in a blissful state of snooze, as Jean suddenly underwent a out of body experience. Literally

"What the?" Jean gasped, as her whole body started to look intangible. She touched her hand, only to gasp as her left hand suddenly went through it "That does it, no more glazed chocolate donuts after dusk for this gal" before seeing a visible cloud over Scott's head caught her attention.

_Hmmm. It appears that I now have the ability to enter and exit out of everyone's dreams and somehow communicate with their subconscious astral spirits while in a netherworld state._ Jean thought in amusement, grinning mischievously as she scurried into Scott's vision, only to see…

"AAAAUUUGGGH!" Jean hollered as she plummeted through thin air only to land safely on top of a stack of… Sports Illustrated Swimsuit?! "Well, **now** I see he's been busy drooling over those Playboy photos for too long." Jean muttered, getting off the pile of dirty books before wandering around, observing the surroundings.

_Hmmm, Playboy, Playboy, Sports Illustrated, Maxima, Glamour, Playboy, Playboy Bunny, Sports Illustrated, Sexy Supermodel Mutants, Sexy Blonde Bombshells, Hot Spicy Brunettes, geez! This guy's got more magazines than Hugh Hefner!_ Jean thought in astonishment before seeing a man dressed in a velvet-black bathrobe, with a pipe in his teeth, and quartz glasses. Jean had a good idea who this was.

"Scott? Is…that **you?" **Jean asked curiously as Scott's eyes bugged out

"Jean! How dare you invade my dream! I was just in the middle of stacking my Cindy Crawford videos!" Scott snapped irately as Jean stared at him with a sheepish look on her face

_Boy, have I heard __**that**__ before._ Jean moaned to herself before replying "Well, I couldn't help but notice you were such a per…" Jean watched herself before saying "… Bookworm" Scott groaned and muttered "well, fans cant always be choosers" and with a wave of his hand, guided Jean on a tour of the library

"Here is the crown uvula of my library: the whole Jenny McCarthy collection. Over one point nine trillion magazines and videos in one major stack." Scott said proudly, licking his chops as he gazed goofily at a poster before turning back to Jean "So, what do ya think?"

"Uh…. Nice set, dude?" Jean sheepishly uttered, giving a thumbs-up. Scott then gave Jean a hard noogie before planting a large smooch on her face, the effect so powerful, it careened her straight out of the dream bubble

"SUMMMERRRSSSS!" Jean bellowed, as she flew through the exit. Scott slapped his forehead and muttered "What **is** it with women? You just can **not** know whether they're comin' or goin'."

Jean then launched out of Scott's dream, went through the door, and landed on the carpet hallway.

"Boy, talk about a wild ride! **Next** time, I'm getting a stunt double!" Jean grunted, straightening her hair out before hearing Madame Hydra's snores coming from her and Bobby's room. "Ohh, this is gonna be **good**." Jean cackled wildly as she squeezed in through the cloud bubble and, instead of finding safe ground, found herself standing on a skydiving plane.

"What the **hell** is going on here?" Jean asked in horror. Before she could escape, a bearded skydiver coach shoved her out the door

"AAAARRRRGGGHHH!" Jean screamed before getting a hold of herself and started to free-fall through the air currents

"Hey Jean! Nice of you to join me! You and me are both gonna win the National Bayville Skydive Championship, and we'll both be rich, rich, RICH!" Madame Hydra sputtered maniacally, dollar signs bulging in her eyes

_Yep, that's the same Madame Hydra I know, all right._ Jean groaned to herself before asking "How the heck do you slow down from falling? The ground is only a bit thousand meters more!"

"Easy! Just use your parachute!" Madame Hydra answered as Jean's eyes went wide in horror

_Oops. _Jean thought before meekly stuttering "W-what'd you say? Parasail?"

"No, silly. Parachute!" Madame Hydra answered as Jean frantically searched her purse for a parachute

_Ohhh boy… _Jean thought as a manure truck suddenly became visible. Jean then quickly grabbed Madame Hydra and both girls held on tight, shrieking hysterically as they went through the cloud-

-and both collapsed on top of each other in a heap. "Oy, talk about crazy stunts." Jean muttered as Madame Hydra spat out bits of lint as she straightened her green hair

"Jean, we've got to get back in our own dream worlds! If we keep visiting any more, this could destroy both the astral world and the **real** world!" Madame Hydra gasped as Jean suddenly realized the danger of their new so-called 'gifts'

"Ok. But how are we gonna get back into our own bodies? We're out in the garden area of the mansion. There's **nobody** out here!" Jean responded before both heard a loud belching noise. A noise that belonged to a certain mutant. One that's been on the hooch **far** too long. It dawned on both girls: **Logan**

The two sneaked into Logan's garage and couldn't resist snickering as they saw Logan slumped over his beloved bike, a Marlboro in his hand, a Cuban cigar stuck between his teeth, with a bit of saliva dripping from his mouth

"Yecch. Talk about **bad** odor. PU!" Jean groaned, pinching her nose as Logan let out a burst of gas

"AACCK! Jean, I-I think… I'm gonna be sick." Madame Hydra weakly gasped, turning pinkish-green.

"Snap out of it, will ya!" Jean hissed, slapping Madame Hydra as both entered the bubble, only to see a large war-torn forest filled to the bone with skeletons and burning trees

"Seems like we just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire." Madame Hydra replied sarcastically

"I don't think this is a fire. More like an **incinerator** if you ask me!" Jean hissed before a horrific roar echoed "GAAAH! What was that?!" Jean squeaked, leaping on top of Madame Hydra, sucking her thumb in fear

"Would you get a freaking grip and get off…" Madame Hydra ranted before her eye pupils shrank in horror before seeing what was in front of the two. The girls came face-to-face with a 60-foot tall Logan, with large razor-sharp talons on his fingers, pointy red ears, ferocious, scary fangs on his teeth, and horrific red eyes.

"Meep!" Jean squeaked meekly as Logan suddenly let loose a large billowing stream of fire.

"AAAAAHHHH! LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!" Jean screamed as the two ran for their lives, outrunning the hazardous pillar of fire.

"Now I know this was a stupid idea!" Madame Hydra panted, as they leaped over a burnt log, as Logan was hot on their heels, his forked tongue dripping savagely

"This is insane! It's a nightmare! We just want to go back to our own dreams!" Jean pleaded to the skies. As if on cue, a bright light blasted through and then vaporized the two X-Girls

"Jean? Jean? JEAN!" Logan bellowed loudly. Jean shrieked, bolting up to see Logan, Bobby, Lance and Tabitha standing over her irately

"Uh… is this a slumber party?" Jean asked sheepishly

"NO! Just do us all a huge favor…" Logan started

"And stay the hell out of our dreams!" Tabitha hissed, the rest grunting in reply before a dazed, clueless Scott waddled over

"Duh… Does anybody have a quarter?" Scott foolishly asked, the X-Gang staring at him strangely "What?"


End file.
